


Together or not at all

by PutTheKnifeDownElmo



Category: (여자)아이들 | (G)I-DLE
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Friendship, OT6, Some Fluff, mentions of abuse, they’re there for each other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 22:55:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29500263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PutTheKnifeDownElmo/pseuds/PutTheKnifeDownElmo
Summary: Shuhua was struggling, her members notice.OrA chapter dedicated to each of their relationships with the youngest.
Relationships: Cho Miyeon/Yeh Shuhua, Jeon Soyeon & Yeh Shuhua, Yeh Shuhua/Minnie Nicha Yontararak
Comments: 10
Kudos: 52





	1. Soyeon

**Author's Note:**

> First attempt at a multi chaptered Gidle fic so I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Was originally going to be a Shuhua/Soyeon one shot but I feel like there should a chapter for all of them :)
> 
> Reminder: this work is purely fictional! Idk what goes on this is just for fun

They had debuted to a success that not one of them could have predicted and they should be happy. For the most part, they were. All except for their youngest who couldn’t shake off the feeling that it was all going to be ripped away from her in a second, that she would wake up from this dream. Afterall, it was too good to be true. It had to be.

The training process was harsh on Shuhua, it tore down her confidence time and time again. She’d said it before, but if it wasn’t for Soyeon’s encouraging words on those staircases all those years ago she wouldn’t be here. She would be back home in Taiwan, wondering what to do with her life. 

It was no secret that the cube teachers could be harsh on trainees, even harsher on the forign ones. No one spoke about it but they knew some of their punishments were less than legal, they also knew that out of all of them Shuhua got the brunt of it. Whether it was for her slower learning of the korean language, or forgetting the choreo, or even just going off tune the loved to dish out the repercussions. Sometimes emotional, occasionally physical.

But she didn’t talk about it, she didn’t know how.

The members could see remnants of it, from the way she still hated being told off, squirmed under critical eyes, or hated when people raised their voice whenever there was an ounce of anger in it. Shuhua always flinched away, and it broke their hearts.

Despite their best intentions sometimes they forgot, sometimes their emotions took the better of them. That’s what was happening currently as Yuqi and Miyeon bickering turned into a full on argument, their voices getting louder and louder as their frustrations grew. 

It had started off simple, Miyeon had pointed out that the chinese girl had gotten her angles wrong on one of the moves. That then led to Yuqi watching the eldest like an eagle, only to criticise her back and so on and so forth. 

But Shuhua could feel her hands begin to tremble, her breaths became quicker as she realised she was losing control. The world seemed to spin on its axis as it felt like the practice room was closing in on her. She couldn’t stay here, the youngest thought as she clumsy made her way into the hallway to get as far away as she could. Shuhua found herself curled up in the corner of a dark room, desperately trying to calm down.

Minnie and Soojin were far too busy trying to calm the fighting two down to notice the youngest’s panic, but Soyeon did as she wordlessly followed. Shuhua had a head start so she wasn’t sure where the youngest went exactly, so she let her instincts take over.

Sure enough, Soyeon opened a door to a dark room. She might have mistaken it as empty if it wasn’t for the sounds of sniffling that could be heard. Flicking the light on, Soyeon took in the sight of Shuhua curled in on herself with her face hidden.

Soyeon had never told the rest of the members that she had found Shuhua like this before. The latter never mentioned it, a silent plea to keep it between them, and Soyeon respected that. It was after a particularly bad punishment, bruises could be seen on the youngests pale arms and her heart ached at the sight. It never got that bad with the rest of them, it wasn’t fair.

The first time she wasn’t sure what to do, comforting Shuhua was always done best by Soojin’s rare displays of affection or Yuqi muttering sweet reassurances in their native languages. But she was never the one to back away from a challenge, not when Shuhua needed her most.

She had went over with tentative steps, placing her hand on Shuhua’s bruised arm, not expecting the youngest to flinch at the touch. Soyeon pulled her hand back, afraid that she was doing more harm than good but all Shuhua could now think about was the cold spot on her arm where the comforting touch once was.

Taking a deep breath, Soyeon tried again and much to her relief the youngest didn’t flinch this time. Slowly, she ran her hand up and down Shuhua’s arm, careful not to apply any pressure to the bruises. It brought a sense of comfort to the taiwanese girl that she couldn’t even imagine. Such a simple act bringing so much relief, it felt almost foolish.

At the time, Shuhua didn’t know how to ask Soyeon for a hug. The two were friends sure, but they weren’t close. Not like this level of intimacy they were currently experiencing. So Shuhua just slowly leant against her soon to be leader's shoulder, hoping she’d understand. But at the same time, she didn’t want to inconvenience the older girl, or to ask for something she wasn’t willing to give.

Soyeon already had so much on her plate with the expectations of leading the group and making their debut track, nevermind the fact that she wasn’t one of the overly affectionate members of the team. 

With Soyeon being Soyeon, she instantly understood what the youngest was after as she wrapped a comforting arm around Shuhua’s shoulders, pressing her lips to the side of her head and in that moment, she felt safe. The feeling only amplified when she feels fingers thread through her precious hair as she melted into the touch.

This time Soyeon is prepared, she knows what to do. Shuhua looked up at the sounds of steps coming towards her, relief filling her body once she saw who it was. It was okay to be weak in front of Soyeon, for she had seen her at her worst.

Wordlessly Shuhua reached out with her arms and her leader immediately wrapped her into a hug, the two rocked back and forth slowly as the elder whispered into her ear.

“You’re okay, you’re safe” 

Slowly but surely, her breathing steadied and she calmed down. They waited until the blotchiness of her cheeks from where she had been crying had faded before returning to the practice room. To which they were greeted by the sight of a very sheepish Yuqi and Miyeon.

“Shuhua I-” the eldest began, but she was quick to cut her off.

“It’s okay, really”

To move the conversation on, Soyeon called out to her members.

“I think that’s enough practice for today”

No one argued with that.

Things got better over time, but it wasn’t perfect. That became pretty clear when they were trying to record for Lion, Soyeon was testing the waters by giving Shuhua more lines but in this moment she feared that she had pushed the girl too far. 

Even from a different room she could tell Shuhua was getting more and more frustrated as she kept making small mistakes with the pronunciation. They were very small, but the two were perfectionists. For Shuhua it felt like that dreaded day of recording 11:11 as a trainee again, everything was just crashing down around her. Confidence diminishing at every word sung.

Soyeon handed the sound technician next to her some money, “Could we get a minute? Go down to the cafe and get yourself something”. The woman gave no complaints and left the girl in the room alone.

“Shuhua?” Soyeon’s voice played through Shuhua’s headphones, “Can you come in here for a sec?”

Shuhua visibly tensed at the words, but took off her headphones regardless and made her way to the leader. As soon as she entered the room, a stream of apologies left her mouth.

“I’m so sorry, I can do better I swear-”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, take a seat”

And so Shuhua did, but her head was cast downwards too ashamed to look Soyeon in the eyes. But soon her chin was tilted up by the leaders fingers until they made eye contact.

“Things are different now, you never have to be sorry to me. You hear that? Never” She said in the firmest voice Shuhua had ever heard her use. Blinking away tears, she nodded.

“Now let’s go through this together”

After about 20 minutes, Shuhua was ready to go back into the recording booth. As soon as she finished her verse, Soyeon knew that this was it. This was the killing part of the song.

But this support was far from a one way street, whether Shuhua realised it or not. For the youngest was constantly making sure that Soyeon wasn’t overworking herself, dragging the older girl away from the studio when she had to.

And when Soyeon was in times of doubt with her leadership, she knew that when she looked up she would meet Shuhua’s deep and reassuring eyes. Listening attentively to every word that she said, for she trusted Soyeon. As a leader, as a member, and most of all as a friend.

Sometimes when Soyeon hit a creative roadblock, she would look to the youngest for inspiration. That may be in her inspiring words shared through one of her letters, or her beauty, or from the way she shines once she is given the chance.

Regardless, they were just glad that they had found each other.

They all were.


	2. Miyeon

Shuhua despised being sick far more than the average person, as for her being sick came with consequences. It meant missing practice, falling behind, and feeling like a burden. So she pushed through, never the one to dwell. But this came at a price, one that she was currently experiencing.

Things had changed after debut, they were given more freedom and liberties. Soyeon had told them time and time again that if they were sick, they should tell her and take time to recover. Yet old habits die hard.

It started off as a mere cold, a sore throat and a few sniffles here and there. As they now had their own rooms, it was easy to hide. Not that she was hiding it of course, just that she didn’t think it was worth bringing up. A decision she was beginning to regret as they entered their fourth hour of dance practice, sweat was dripping from her body and her face was flushed a bright red. Usually she would be overheating but her body shook with chills, as soon as their leader called for the session to be over she was pulling a jumper over her body in a desperate attempt to get warm.

“Well you look awful” Yuqi muttered in Mandarin as she took a seat next to the sick girl.

“Not another word”

“But-”

“Nope” 

They sat in silence as Shuhua sipped at water, the thought of ingesting anything else made her stomach roll. Before Yuqi could say anymore, Soojin called out saying her goodbyes as she was going home for the weekend. It was a rare opportunity to spend time with her family before their hectic schedule went under way, and she was going to grasp it.

Usually when Soojin was going home for the weekend Shuhua would be clinging to her like a koala, but today she didn’t have it in her. Instead she offered a weak wave and a small smile, Soojin gave her a questioning look but didn’t have time to ponder any further as it was time for her to leave.

Shortly after the producing line made their way to their own workspaces, but Yuqi stopped to have a short conversation with Miyeon before they left. Shuhua couldn’t make out the conversation, but she could see the eldests brow furrow at something before nodding at Yuqi and making her way over.

“Come on, let’s get you home” Miyeon said while pulling the youngest to her feet, she seemed to sway in place for a moment but steadied once the older girls arm wrapped around her waist, “Maybe we can pick you up some medicine on the way back”.

Shuhua groaned, “Yuqi told you?”

“Maybe I’m just observant” Miyeon replied with a slight huff and a false pretense of offence. The youngest didn’t respond to that, instead choosing to reply with a meaningful look. To be fair if she wasn’t as sick as she was, she could have come off quite intimidating.

“Yeah Yuqi told me”

The trip home was shockingly peaceful considering the duo that seemed to always be bickering. Shuhua’s silence concerned the eldest, but at the moment she didn’t seem to be too bad, only a little out of it. With enough rest, she would be fine. Or so they both thought.

Once they had arrived in the dorm Haku and Mata were instantly jumping on Shuhua, yapping wildly. Usually this would be when the youngest took them for a walk, no matter how tired she was Haku and Mata were her responsibility and she would see through to it.

But as she went to take their leashes off the hook, her head spun as her vision blurred for a moment. Desperately her arms shot out to support herself on the wall in front, yet it wasn’t enough as she felt herself falling. She was sure that when she opened her eyes she would be on the floor.

Distantly she could hear someone talking, but she couldn’t quite make out the words. It felt so far away. Warm hands on her neck forced her to open her eyes and she was greeted by the sight of soft brown eyes filled with concern. As she took in her surroundings she realised she wasn’t on the floor but rather in Miyeon’s arms. 

Slowly but surely she could put together what the older girl was saying. 

“Shuhua? You okay?”

She tried to get back onto her own two feet but Miyeon’s grip was too strong, or perhaps she was too weak.

“I gotta walk the dogs” She mumbled out after a moment.

“You have to go to bed, I’ll call Minnie I’m sure she’ll be happy to spend some time with them”

Before Shuhua could protest any further, Miyeon was hauling her limp body towards the eldests room as it was closer. Despite it not being her own bed, she was filled with a sense of comfort and warmth as the older girl tucked her in. The room smelled of Miyeon which relaxed her more than she thought possible, the tension in her body seemed to melt away.

Every second that passed her eyes got heavier and heavier, drooping until they were completely closed. She didn’t stand a chance to stay awake as Miyeon’s hand came to cup her face, her thumb slowly stroking her cheek. As soon as she was out, she moved her hand against the sick girl's forehead to take her temperature.

It wasn’t often Miyeon saw Shuhua this vulnerable, usually that was reserved for Soojin or Yuqi but the sight made her want to protect the youngest with everything that she has. Even if it meant protecting her from a cold. Using this moment of peace, she pulled out her phone and sent a text to Minnie. At first her friend was reluctant, but as soon as she dropped Shuhua’s name the Thai girl said that she would be there in five with the medicine.

Sure enough, around five minutes later the sound of the code being put in and the door being opened echoed throughout the quiet dorm. Reluctantly, Miyeon left the youngests side to meet Minnie. Before she could even get a word out, Minnie had a barrage of questions.  
“What happened? Where’s Shuhua? Is she okay?”

“Calm down” Miyeon replied while taking tha bag filled with medicine from Minnie’s grasp, “She’s just sick, but we haven’t walked the dogs yet. Can you do that?”

After a quick conversation saying their goodbyes, Minnie was leaving with Haku and Mata trailing behind her. With the Thai gone and the dorm quiet once more, Miyeon was left alone with her thoughts. As the youngest was asleep, she couldn’t take the newly acquired medicine. But if there was one thing that Miyeon could count on, it was that Shuhua always woke up at the scent of food.

Now Miyeon was no Soojin, but she had watched the younger cook seaweed soup a thousand times and so she was confident she could recreate it. Or at least something similar. So she got to work, thankfully they were always stocked up on the ingredients.

Just as she predicted, as the soup began to boil and that familiar smell invaded Miyeon’s senses, the sounds of the youngest rising from her slumber could be heard. It was reassuring to see that Shuhua was the same, ill or not. Once the loud sound of her door opened, she looked up and took in the sight that was her friend.

Shuhua’s hair was sticking up at odd angles, her eyes red and puffy but still clouded over with sleep. Miyeon couldn’t tell if the sleep had helped much but at least Shuhua wasn’t in danger of falling over at any moment. 

“Take a seat Shu, there’s some medicine on the table while you’re waiting”

“What are you making?” Shuhua’s voice was rough and scratchy, quite the opposite from her usual high tone and full of energy. But she didn’t put up a fight as she sat down and began routing through the pharmacy store bag.

“Seaweed soup, it's almost done”

“I didn’t know you knew how to make anything other than kimchi fried rice”

“Keep it up and you won’t find out”

Despite her words, Miyeon was dishing out two bowls of her food, placing it on the table before sitting down next to her. The youngest muttered her thanks and tucked right in, as soon as the food hit her taste buds she let out a sigh of relief. Hot soup was perfect for a sore throat.

“How is it?”

“Not Soojin’s” Shuhua said with a sly grin, but before Miyeon could complain she continued, “But just as good, thank you”

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay, I’ll be fine for practice tomorrow”

There was a moment of silence from Miyeon as she took in Shuhua’s words, the youngest didn’t even notice as she was happily eating the food provided. 

“Practice tomorrow?” Miyeon said after a while, her tone full of disbelief. “You’re not going to practice tomorrow”

“But Soyeon wants to run through some last minute changes, I’ve got to go in”

“Does Soyeon even know you’re sick?”

The silence that came from the youngest was the only answer Miyeon needed, she could only shake her head in disbelief. As Miyeon was the last member to join, she had only really heard stories about Shuhua’s inability to take care of herself so seeing it with her own eyes was quite something. Taking out her phone, she sent a quick text to the leader. 

“What are you doing?”

“Texting Soyeon, she said there’s no way you’re coming in tomorrow and that you should rest”

In reality, Soyeon hadn’t even read the eldest texts yet but Shuhua didn’t need to know that. Miyeon was confident that would be her response anyway. The youngest had to concede this fight, as once Miyeon had set her mind to something it tended to go that way.

Seeing that Shuhua had finished her meal, she began to clear up knowing that if she didn’t do it now the dirt dishes would still be there when Soojin got back. 

“Do you want to go back to bed?” Miyeon asked because Shuhua still looked tired, but she got a shake of a head in response. What Miyeon didn’t know is that when she had left the youngest to rest, her sleep had been fitful and full of thoughts that she didn’t want to remember.

“Want to watch a film then?”

Mere moments later the two found themselves tucked under a blanket while Miyeon chose a film. Shuhua’s head shot up at the sound of an all too familiar theme tune playing, bringing back nostalgic memories. She had chosen a taiwanese film that Shuhua used to love when she was little.  
“How did you-” Her voice was full of disbelief.

“You mentioned it before” Miyeon responded as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. But by the time it was half way through, Shuhua was fast asleep. Her head tucked peacefully into Miyeon’s shoulder. Leaving the older girl to watch the rest of the film on her own, not understanding a word as it didn’t have subtitles. Slowly but surely, she felt her own eyelids drooping.

That’s how Minnie found them the next morning, cuddled together on the sofa with the TV still turned on.


	3. Minnie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finished this earlier than I was anticipating as a gift for Neverlands, hope everyone is keeping well :)

When everything got a little too much, or she needed a moment to herself, Minnie always headed up on the roof. There was something comforting about the sky, whether it contained the sun or the stars. Perhaps it was the consistency of them, or maybe it was because she knew she could see the same features back home in Thailand.

Having a dorm with roof access was a small blessing, but one that she relished in. Usually she would do so alone, but to her surprise she heard movement coming up the steps on the way to the roof. 

Sure enough, the youngest emerged from the exit to the roof with a look of concern etched into her features. The members knew that this place was a safe haven to Minnie, and so sometimes when life was proving difficult they joined in for a moment's peace. So she suspected that this was a similar occurrence, but what she wasn’t expecting was it to be Shuhua of all people.

It was rare for the younger girl to come to their dorm, usually it would be the other way round so they could also spend time with Haku and Mata. While it wasn’t unheard of for Shuhua to seek comfort in Minnie, it was still a pretty rare occurrence. So the older girl knew something was up.

Without saying a word, Minnie patted the seat next to her and opened up the blanket. Inviting Shuhua in as a form of protection against the slightly chilly night. With a thankful smile breaking her previously troubled features, the youngest welcomed this gesture and sunk into the older girls warmth. Their arms naturally wrapped around each other in a sort of side hug.

“What’s up with you?” She asked eventually, realising that Shuhua wasn’t about to make the first move.

“Just tired”

“Do you want to go downstairs? We can sleep if you don’t want to be alone”

But Shuhua shook her head, her eyes just stayed staring ahead with a far away look. It always took a while for the younger girl to open up. Sometimes that’s because of reluctancy but other times it was just because she was collecting her thoughts.

Not wanting to rush her, Minnie let the growing silence prevail. Until she had an idea.

“Did you know I composed Moon here?”

That seemed to gain Shuhua’s attention as she glanced up at the older girl, a look of wonder replacing the previous far away one.

“Really?”

“Yup, looking at this same view. Sometimes you can’t see the stars, there’s too much light pollution. But the moon always prevails”

“...Unless there’s clouds”

Minnie could only huff a laugh at that, but easily agreed. “Unless there’s clouds, no clouds tonight though” She said while pointing to the sky, where a bright crescent could be seen illuminating the darkness.

“Do you ever think this is all too good to be true?” Shuhua asked quietly, suddenly breaking the peaceful silence.

“What is?”

“All of this, where we are now, how far we’ve come”

The older girl was quiet for a moment while she pondered the question, she wanted to give a proper thought out response so she took her time.

“Sometimes, but then I remember how hard I’ve worked, how hard we’ve all worked to make our dream become a reality”

“Dream, that’s the problem”

Shuhua had lost Minnie there, she tilted her head in confusion. “What do you mean?” She asked eventually, not being able to come up with the answer on her own.

“It feels like it’s just a dream. That one day I’ll wake up in my bed back home, goalless and without all of you” As Shuhua spoke her voice became cracked with overwhelming emotion, she couldn’t stand the thought of a life without her members. Younger Shuhua would never have believed that she would find people that would just understand her without even trying, and that those same people would quickly become her family.

“We’re not going anywhere Shu” Minnie tried to reassure, “You’ve worked so hard, overcome so much and I am so proud, we all are. I just hope that one day you’ll see it”

“See what?” Shuhua said with a sniffle, the older girl’s words had struck so close to home that it was almost hard to process. But somehow it was exactly what she needed to hear.

“How deserving you are, of this and so much more”

The two fell into a comfortable silence after that, Shuhua was contemplating the elder’s words while Minnie was content just holding her close. Trying to express her love both physically and verbally. While looking at the moon, she could only hope that Shuhua would find something that brought her as much comfort as such a simple thing brought her.

It didn’t seem like much at the time, but Minnie suddenly remembered Shuhua mentioning in an interview with Miyeon that she didn’t know what made her happy. The revelation left her wondering how deep that actually went.

But Shuhua was still young, most people at her age hadn’t learnt about themselves completely. Minnie wasn’t that much older, but she’d like to think that she had grown up a lot in those years. No longer finding the need to cry while playing the piano. Sometimes it was easy to forget that Shuhua was barely a young adult with how mature her outlook on life was.

Sure, she was still the loud and chaotic youngest that they all loved, but once given the chance to air her thoughts Shuhua could be surprisingly philosophical. It was one of the many traits Minnie admired about her.

“Is that why you can’t sleep?”

Shuhua nodded her head against her in response, as time passed in Minnie’s comfort she grew more and more tired. But was jostled awake once the older girl stood up unexpectedly, her hands stretched out to help Shuhua do the same.

Seeing the younger girl’s confused expression, she answered the question before Shuhua even had the chance to answer it.

“It’s late and we’re gunna sleep. No excuses”

With that being said, Minnie led the younger girl into the only clean bedroom in the house. They both ignored the mountain of clothes that probably contained their small leader somewhere and the boxes of random deliveries that filled Yuqi’s room.

Once they had made themselves comfortable in the warmth of Minnie’s bed, it took mere moments for Shuhua to be out like a light.

Having the first peaceful sleep in days.


End file.
